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SNL Will Ferrell as Spider
Occupation: Stage hand
Catch Phrase(s): "Why don't you hold the freakin' card, Joe?"
Appearance(s): January 20, 1996
November 22, 1997
Portrayer(s): Will Ferrell

He is a very shy young man whose job as a stage hand for The Joe Pesci Show. He has been in two sketches and the only character for the show. He is taller than anybody and he has black hair and is meant to be the character Spider from Pesci's film Goodfellas (whom Pesci treats horribly and later shoots). His hairstyle almost resembles as Shemp Howard from The Three Stooges.

While Alec Baldwin as Robert De Niro tries to read the cue card, he tells Spider to hold the card so he can see it well. Joe and Robert both did get hard on him and he felted nervous being abused on stage by Pesci and De Niro. He tries to tell Joe something for holding his cue card but he was stuttering and Pesci mock him and even abused him more on stage. He stood up to Pesci to abuse him back by saying "Why don't you hold the freakin' card, Joe?". Just as he did the right thing, Joe and De Niro got surprised when they made Oh noises and De Niro decided to make it up to him by giving him money for being picked on onstage. Joe shoots Spider as he leaves trying to kill him. It is possible he has been one of Joe's stand hands. In his second appearance, he was asked to put out Joe's cigar for Joe in front the mayor, Rudolph Guilliani.

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