Cold Open Sketch Pretaped/Digital Short Weekend Update Music Performance Other
Chevy's Fall, Take Two
Chevy Chase has performed the weekly opening fall, but learns that the show wasn't yet on the air and that he'll have to do it all over again.
Dyan Cannon's Monologue
Dyan Cannon shyly introduces herself to the audience, then tels them about an unfilled dream to be whisked away by a man on a white horse. Pianist Paul Shaffer picks Dyan up and carries her off the stage, but this isn't what she had in mind.
Ms. Elaine Szigeti (Laraine Newman) participates in a diet soda taste test, and chooses sugar-free Zing over a glass of phlegm.
Participants (Garrett Morris, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin) in a hearing test fail to realize that thugs (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd) have entered the room and taken the teacher (Dyan Cannon) hostage during a wild police shootout.
When a husband (Dan Aykroyd) comes home early and discovers a strange man (Chevy Chase) lying on top of his wife (Dyan Cannon) on the couch, he demands an explanation. They feed him a series of lies ranging from a broken lamp and the swine flu, and he falls for it.
Head of Bulgarian Tourist Bureau (John Belushi) shows Jane Curtin the film "Bulgaria Dis Vintor" to promote American tourism in Bulgaria.
Dyan's Dream I
A hoarse-sounding Dan Aykroyd has interpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream to involve a man with a sore throat.
Leon & Mary Russell perform "Satisfy You"
Laraine Newman thinks next week's host, Buck Henry, is disgusting.
Weekend Update With Chevy Chase
Correspondent Laraine Newman interviews a Nevada gas station attendant (Garrett Morris) who claims to have an alternate copy of Howard Hughes' will. Chevy Chase's weather report is documented through a crude series of artist's renderings. Garrett Morris again repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.
Florida Orange Juice
Anita Bryant (Jane Curtin) promotes natural Florida orange juice while being held hostage in war-torn Beirut.
While giving the eulogy at a funeral, a priest (Chevy Chase) suffers through a disruptive bout of the hiccups.
Dyan's Dream II
Acting as a pimp, Garrett Morris has interpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream to involve a pair of white prostitutes (Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman).
Gary Weis Film
Gary Weis' film crosscuts interviews of newlyweds and marital infidelity investigators.
Bathwater Of The Stars
Pitchman Roy Waddmaker (Dan Aykroyd) promotes the bottled bathwater of giggly Cindy Cleavage (Dyan Cannon) and other celebrities.
Private Rick Duncan (Chevy Chase) is abused by his sergeant (Dan Aykroyd) when his verbal gaffes demand multiple takes for a Marine Corps commercial.
Leon & Mary Russell perform "Daylight"
Teenaged Dyan (Dyan Cannon) is dying to make an impression on "Johnny Angel", whom her parents (John Belushi, Gilda Radner) are horrified to learn are three members of the Hells Angels (Garrett Morris, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase). As Dyan bursts into song, the Hells Angels tear the house apart and tie her parents up with rope.
Pharmacist (John Belushi) recommends Cresk toothpaste for housewife's (Gilda Radner) dead son.
Dyan's Dream III
John Belushi rides onto the stage on his friend Horace's (Alan Zweibel) back, having misinterpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream.
"The Hub-Cap Thief"
This week's home movie is a Nugent Rasero Fitzgerald Production, in which a hapless hubcap thief doesn't complete his task in time and is rolled around town by an unsuspecting driver.