Cold Open Sketch Pretaped/Digital Short Weekend Update Music Performance Other
The Dead String Quartet II
Members of the Dead String Quartet (John Belushi, Laraine Newman, Garrett Morris, Chevy Chase) give a silent performance punctuated by their keeling over onto one another.
Ron Nessen's Monologue
Ron Nessen comically details his job as President Ford's press secretary, then is promptly fired over the phone by his Commander-in-Chief.
Super Bass-O-Matic '76
Pitchman (Dan Aykroyd) advocates an easier way to enjoy the taste of bass.
Ron Nessen talks President Gerald Ford (Chevy Chase) into allowing him to host "Saturday Night Live" this week.
With tasteless and obscene names like Fluckers and Monkey Pus, these have to be the best jams on the market!
Patti Smith Group Performs "Gloria"
Press Secretaries Through History I
Catherine the Great's press secretary, Leonid Pushnev (Ron Nessen), gives a briefing upon her death.
Lie Detector Test
Julie Nixon (Gilda Radner) uses a lie detector to test David Eisenhower's (Dan Aykroyd) loyalty to her family.
The New Army
Pot-smoking Lt. Col. Scott Shuman (John Belushi) promotes the new Army for today's counterculture youth.
Weekend Update With Chevy Chase
Laraine Newman interviews Generallisimo Francisco Franco's press secretary (Ron Nessen), regarding the current state of his death. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) discusses "presidential erections".
Up Against The Wallpaper
Jerry Rubin pitches grafitti wallpaper.
Gary Weis explores the world of waste management in New York.
Fashionably chic woman (Gilda Radner) uses the carbonated douche.
Manic Tom Snyder (Dan Aykroyd) interviews Ron Nessen about life in the Ford White House.
Singing At The Urinal
A trio of men sing while using the urinals in a film by David Massar.
Press Secretaries Through History II
Oedipus' press secretary, Julius Marcellis (Ron Nessen), gives a briefing regarding the new queen.
Supreme Court Spot Check
Members of the Supreme Court (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Al Franken, Tom Davis, Alan Zweibel, Tom Schiller, Garrett Morris, Michael O'Donoghue, Neil Levy) monitor the sexual behavior of a cohabitating couple (Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin).
Press Secretaries Through History III
Thomas Jefferson's press secretary, John Quincy Ross (Ron Nessen), gives a briefing regarding Jefferson's non-slaves.
Billy Crystal Stand Up
Billy Crystal performs a stand-up monologue about a jazz musician he knew while growing up.
A battery strong enough to run a pacemaker all night.
A dramatization proves that too many cooks don't really spoil the broth.