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2009-11-25T04:05:34Z

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Landshark

2009-11-25T02:50:24Z

Disguises:

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:50, November 25, 2009
Line 4:		Line 4:
	===11/8/75-Candice Bergen (Jaws 2)===		===11/8/75-Candice Bergen (Jaws 2)===
	====Victim 1====		====Victim 1====
-	Victim: Who is it?	+	*Victim: Who is it?
-	Shark: Mrs. Bragalo?	+	*Shark: Mrs. Bragalo?
-	Victim: Who is it?	+	*Victim: Who is it?
-	Shark: Plumber.	+	*Shark: Plumber.
-	Victim: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?	+	*Victim: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?
-	Shark: Telegram.	+	*Shark: Telegram.
-	Victim: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment. (Opens door and screams)	+	*Victim: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment. (Opens door and screams)
	====Victim 2====		====Victim 2====
-	Victim: Yes?	+	*Victim: Yes?
-	Shark: Mrs. Arlsburg?	+	*Shark: Mrs. Arlsburg?
-	Victim: Who?	+	*Victim: Who?
-	Shark: Mrs. Barganuke?	+	*Shark: Mrs. Barganuke?
-	Victim: Who is it?	+	*Victim: Who is it?
-	Shark: Flowers.	+	*Shark: Flowers.
-	Victim: Flowers for whom?	+	*Victim: Flowers for whom?
-	Shark: Plumber ma'am.	+	*Shark: Plumber ma'am.
-	Victim: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark aren't you	+	*Victim: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark aren't you
-	Shark: Candygram.	+	*Shark: Candygram.
-	Victim: Candygram my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark and YOU know it.	+	*Victim: Candygram my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark and YOU know it.
-	Shark: Wait. I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.	+	*Shark: Wait. I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
-	Victim: A dolphin? Well, okay. (Opens door and screams)	+	*Victim: A dolphin? Well, okay. (Opens door and screams)
	====Victim 3====		====Victim 3====
-	Victim: Who Is it?	+	*Victim: Who Is it?
-	Shark: Landshark.	+	*Shark: Landshark.
-	Victim: Oh, Walter. (Opens door, unconvinced) Landshark. (Screams)	+	*Victim: Oh, Walter. (Opens door, unconvinced) Landshark. (Screams)
	====Candice Bergen====		====Candice Bergen====
-	Candice: Who is it?	+	*Candice: Who is it?
-	Man, not shark: Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from Johanna' Witnesses. I thought you might be interested in out journal, The Watchtower.	+	*Man, not shark: Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from Johanna' Witnesses. I thought you might be interested in out journal, The Watchtower.
-	Candice: Why certainly. I'd be very interested.	+	*Candice: Why certainly. I'd be very interested.
-	Man: Uh... Would you mind opening the door, please ma'am?	+	*Man: Uh... Would you mind opening the door, please ma'am?
-	Candice: Why sure. Just a second. (Gets a mallet, opens the door, and bonks the man in the head-she thought it was the shark!)	+	*Candice: Why sure. Just a second. (Gets a mallet, opens the door, and bonks the man in the head-she thought it was the shark!)
	===11/22/75-Lily Tomolin===		===11/22/75-Lily Tomolin===
	====Victim 1====		====Victim 1====
-	Victim: Yes?	+	*Victim: Yes?
-	Shark: Mrs. Barson?	+	*Shark: Mrs. Barson?
-	Victim: Who?	+	*Victim: Who?
-	Shark: Mrs. Nay... Helner?	+	*Shark: Mrs. Nay... Helner?
-	Victim: What?	+	*Victim: What?
-	Shark: Telephone man.	+	*Shark: Telephone man.
-	Victim: My telephone's okay. Who is this?	+	*Victim: My telephone's okay. Who is this?
-	Shark: Are you double-parked? I think you're blocking me, ma'am.	+	*Shark: Are you double-parked? I think you're blocking me, ma'am.
-	Victim: I don't own a car! C'mon. Who is this?	+	*Victim: I don't own a car! C'mon. Who is this?
-	Shark: Candygram.	+	*Shark: Candygram.
-	Victim: A candygram! Oh boy! (Opens door and screams)	+	*Victim: A candygram! Oh boy! (Opens door and screams)
	====Victim 2====		====Victim 2====
-	Victim: Yes?	+	*Victim: Yes?
-	Brody: Patricia? It's Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper. We got to talk to you. It's urgent.	+	*Brody: Patricia? It's Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper. We got to talk to you. It's urgent.
-	Patricia: Okay. Just a moment. (gets a mallet) Come right in. (The door opens, and she hits the mallet on the sheriff's head.)	+	*Patricia: Okay. Just a moment. (gets a mallet) Come right in. (The door opens, and she hits the mallet on the sheriff's head.)
-	Matt: It's alright. Patricia, the shark thing, it's coming to the head, now. It's smart. It's VERY smart. He's killed 3 seperate women in the same building. Now, THAT'S where we got him. Stay in your apartment, and don't leave no matter what. Don't answer that door for any reason, unless it's me or Sheriff Brody. Is that clear?	+	*Matt: It's alright. Patricia, the shark thing, it's coming to the head, now. It's smart. It's VERY smart. He's killed 3 seperate women in the same building. Now, THAT'S where we got him. Stay in your apartment, and don't leave no matter what. Don't answer that door for any reason, unless it's me or Sheriff Brody. Is that clear?
-	Patricia: I think so. Yes.	+	*Patricia: I think so. Yes.
-	Matt: Now, there's a special knock that only me and Sheriff Brody know. Don't answer that door if you hear this knock (Knocks three times, and then two) You got it? That's it. Okay? Okay, let's go Brody. We gotta alert the others. Come on.	+	*Matt: Now, there's a special knock that only me and Sheriff Brody know. Don't answer that door if you hear this knock (Knocks three times, and then two) You got it? That's it. Okay? Okay, let's go Brody. We gotta alert the others. Come on.
-	Patricia: (She locks the door, but then hears two knocks and then three.) What is it now?	+	*Patricia: (She locks the door, but then hears two knocks and then three.) What is it now?
-	Shark: Uh... I left my goggles here, Patricia.	+	*Shark: Uh... I left my goggles here, Patricia.
-	Patricia: Oh. Okay. (Opens door and screams)	+	*Patricia: Oh. Okay. (Opens door and screams)
	====Back at the office====		====Back at the office====
-	Brody: I gotta get some people. Deputies at the entrances and exits of all the buildings. (The shark appears right behind him-he doesn't look back) I'm glad you're back. I know just how to handle this. We're going to get people together.	+	*Brody: I gotta get some people. Deputies at the entrances and exits of all the buildings. (The shark appears right behind him-he doesn't look back) I'm glad you're back. I know just how to handle this. We're going to get people together.
-	Shark: Get a posy.	+	*Shark: Get a posy.
-	Brody: Get a posy. That's right.	+	*Brody: Get a posy. That's right.
-	Shark: Surround the area.	+	*Shark: Surround the area.
-	Brody: Surround the area. Right. That's good.	+	*Brody: Surround the area. Right. That's good.
-	Shark: Walkie-talkies?	+	*Shark: Walkie-talkies?
-	Brody: Walkie-talkies. Good.	+	*Brody: Walkie-talkies. Good.
-	Shark: Maybe get some harpoons.	+	*Shark: Maybe get some harpoons.
-	Brody: Carry some harpoons? That's a (turns around and screams)	+	*Brody: Carry some harpoons? That's a (turns around and screams)
	====Victim 3====		====Victim 3====
-	News reporter: One method commonly spoke in this area (screams)	+	*News reporter: One method commonly spoke in this area (screams)
-	Shark's voice: We invite the fish into your living room. Offer him a soda pop, and maybe some Oreos and some cookies. Just make them feel at home. And that's the news. Stay tuned for something else...I mean... Stay tuned for music.	+	*Shark's voice: We invite the fish into your living room. Offer him a soda pop, and maybe some Oreos and some cookies. Just make them feel at home. And that's the news. Stay tuned for something else...I mean... Stay tuned for music.
-	Victim: Who is it?	+	*Victim: Who is it?
-	Shark: Landshark.	+	*Shark: Landshark.
-	Victim: Oh, landshark. Um... Come on in and have a root beer! (Opens door and screams)	+	*Victim: Oh, landshark. Um... Come on in and have a root beer! (Opens door and screams)
	====Lily Tomolin====		====Lily Tomolin====
-	Lily: Yes?	+	*Lily: Yes?
-	Matt: It's me, Sue!	+	*Matt: It's me, Sue!
-	Lily: How do I know it's you?	+	*Lily: How do I know it's you?
-	Matt: Because I don't sound like a shark, do I?	+	*Matt: Because I don't sound like a shark, do I?
-	Lily: (Opens door) Oh, Matt. It's so glad to see you. I feel so bad that it had to go this way. You know, you ARE so attractive to me, YOU HUNK!	+	*Lily: (Opens door) Oh, Matt. It's so glad to see you. I feel so bad that it had to go this way. You know, you ARE so attractive to me, YOU HUNK!
-	Matt: Listen, Sue, there's no time for that now. I don't know how we can stop this thing. He's just too clever!	+	*Matt: Listen, Sue, there's no time for that now. I don't know how we can stop this thing. He's just too clever!
-	Shark: Uh... Lily, cut it please. I'm sorry. We're going to cut the sketch short. I'm afraid the scene's getting a little slow.	+	*Shark: Uh... Lily, cut it please. I'm sorry. We're going to cut the sketch short. I'm afraid the scene's getting a little slow.
-	Lily: Oh, come on.	+	*Lily: Oh, come on.
-	Matt: Can't we just finish the scene?	+	*Matt: Can't we just finish the scene?
-	Shark: No. I'm sorry, John.	+	*Shark: No. I'm sorry, John.
-	Lily: Look. The scene's almost over.	+	*Lily: Look. The scene's almost over.
-	Shark: Lily, we're running too long. Why don't you say a line or something and then exit through that apartment door, there on your right.	+	*Shark: Lily, we're running too long. Why don't you say a line or something and then exit through that apartment door, there on your right.
-	Matt: Great. Just when I was getting ready to catch the shark! We have to cut the scene. Great.	+	*Matt: Great. Just when I was getting ready to catch the shark! We have to cut the scene. Great.
-	Lily: Forget about catching the shark. (walks to the door) I can understand I'm doing it to you, but I'm the host. (Opens the door and screams, leaving only Matt in the room)	+	*Lily: Forget about catching the shark. (walks to the door) I can understand I'm doing it to you, but I'm the host. (Opens the door and screams, leaving only Matt in the room)
-	Matt: I'd turn out like a job in a coocoo's nest for this!	+	*Matt: I'd turn out like a job in a coocoo's nest for this!

User talk:24.189.8.209

2009-11-25T02:48:03Z

welcoming new contributor

New page

==Welcome==
Hi, welcome to Saturday Night Live Wiki. Thanks for your edit to the [[:Landshark]] page.

'''[[Special:Userlogin|Please sign in and create a user name]]'''. It's an easy way to keep track of your contributions and helps you communicate with the rest of the community.

Please leave a message on [[User talk:Angela|my talk page]] if I can help with anything! -- [[User:Angela|Angela]] ([[User_talk:Angela|Talk]]) 02:48, November 25, 2009

Landshark

2009-11-25T02:47:15Z

Created page with 'In the first few seasons of SNL, when it was just called Saturday Night, there was a reoccurring sketch where a shark, voiced by Chevy Chase, would go knocking on doors, pretendi…'

New page

In the first few seasons of SNL, when it was just called Saturday Night, there was a reoccurring sketch where a shark, voiced by Chevy Chase, would go knocking on doors, pretending to be a mailman or something, and it would be down the hatch when the door opens. Between every attack there would be a concern by Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper.

== Disguises ==
===11/8/75-Candice Bergen (Jaws 2)===
====Victim 1====
Victim: Who is it?
Shark: Mrs. Bragalo?
Victim: Who is it?
Shark: Plumber.
Victim: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?
Shark: Telegram.
Victim: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment. (Opens door and screams)
====Victim 2====
Victim: Yes?
Shark: Mrs. Arlsburg?
Victim: Who?
Shark: Mrs. Barganuke?
Victim: Who is it?
Shark: Flowers.
Victim: Flowers for whom?
Shark: Plumber ma'am.
Victim: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark aren't you
Shark: Candygram.
Victim: Candygram my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark and YOU know it.
Shark: Wait. I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Victim: A dolphin? Well, okay. (Opens door and screams)
====Victim 3====
Victim: Who Is it?
Shark: Landshark.
Victim: Oh, Walter. (Opens door, unconvinced) Landshark. (Screams)
====Candice Bergen====
Candice: Who is it?
Man, not shark: Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from Johanna' Witnesses. I thought you might be interested in out journal, The Watchtower.
Candice: Why certainly. I'd be very interested.
Man: Uh... Would you mind opening the door, please ma'am?
Candice: Why sure. Just a second. (Gets a mallet, opens the door, and bonks the man in the head-she thought it was the shark!)
===11/22/75-Lily Tomolin===
====Victim 1====
Victim: Yes?
Shark: Mrs. Barson?
Victim: Who?
Shark: Mrs. Nay... Helner?
Victim: What?
Shark: Telephone man.
Victim: My telephone's okay. Who is this?
Shark: Are you double-parked? I think you're blocking me, ma'am.
Victim: I don't own a car! C'mon. Who is this?
Shark: Candygram.
Victim: A candygram! Oh boy! (Opens door and screams)
====Victim 2====
Victim: Yes?
Brody: Patricia? It's Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper. We got to talk to you. It's urgent.
Patricia: Okay. Just a moment. (gets a mallet) Come right in. (The door opens, and she hits the mallet on the sheriff's head.)
Matt: It's alright. Patricia, the shark thing, it's coming to the head, now. It's smart. It's VERY smart. He's killed 3 seperate women in the same building. Now, THAT'S where we got him. Stay in your apartment, and don't leave no matter what. Don't answer that door for any reason, unless it's me or Sheriff Brody. Is that clear?
Patricia: I think so. Yes.
Matt: Now, there's a special knock that only me and Sheriff Brody know. Don't answer that door if you hear this knock (Knocks three times, and then two) You got it? That's it. Okay? Okay, let's go Brody. We gotta alert the others. Come on.
Patricia: (She locks the door, but then hears two knocks and then three.) What is it now?
Shark: Uh... I left my goggles here, Patricia.
Patricia: Oh. Okay. (Opens door and screams)
====Back at the office====
Brody: I gotta get some people. Deputies at the entrances and exits of all the buildings. (The shark appears right behind him-he doesn't look back) I'm glad you're back. I know just how to handle this. We're going to get people together.
Shark: Get a posy.
Brody: Get a posy. That's right.
Shark: Surround the area.
Brody: Surround the area. Right. That's good.
Shark: Walkie-talkies?
Brody: Walkie-talkies. Good.
Shark: Maybe get some harpoons.
Brody: Carry some harpoons? That's a (turns around and screams)
====Victim 3====
News reporter: One method commonly spoke in this area (screams)
Shark's voice: We invite the fish into your living room. Offer him a soda pop, and maybe some Oreos and some cookies. Just make them feel at home. And that's the news. Stay tuned for something else...I mean... Stay tuned for music.
Victim: Who is it?
Shark: Landshark.
Victim: Oh, landshark. Um... Come on in and have a root beer! (Opens door and screams)
====Lily Tomolin====
Lily: Yes?
Matt: It's me, Sue!
Lily: How do I know it's you?
Matt: Because I don't sound like a shark, do I?
Lily: (Opens door) Oh, Matt. It's so glad to see you. I feel so bad that it had to go this way. You know, you ARE so attractive to me, YOU HUNK!
Matt: Listen, Sue, there's no time for that now. I don't know how we can stop this thing. He's just too clever!
Shark: Uh... Lily, cut it please. I'm sorry. We're going to cut the sketch short. I'm afraid the scene's getting a little slow.
Lily: Oh, come on.
Matt: Can't we just finish the scene?
Shark: No. I'm sorry, John.
Lily: Look. The scene's almost over.
Shark: Lily, we're running too long. Why don't you say a line or something and then exit through that apartment door, there on your right.
Matt: Great. Just when I was getting ready to catch the shark! We have to cut the scene. Great.
Lily: Forget about catching the shark. (walks to the door) I can understand I'm doing it to you, but I'm the host. (Opens the door and screams, leaving only Matt in the room)
Matt: I'd turn out like a job in a coocoo's nest for this!

User talk:61.158.163.191

2009-11-24T23:03:10Z

welcoming new contributor

New page

==Welcome==
Hi, welcome to Saturday Night Live Wiki. Thanks for your edit to the [[:Jordan Shoes,Adidas Shoes,Gucci Shoes,Timberlands boots,Prada Shoes]] page.

'''[[Special:Userlogin|Please sign in and create a user name]]'''. It's an easy way to keep track of your contributions and helps you communicate with the rest of the community.

Please leave a message on [[User talk:Angela|my talk page]] if I can help with anything! -- [[User:Angela|Angela]] ([[User_talk:Angela|Talk]]) 23:03, November 24, 2009